K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm always down for nudity.
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