well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
