Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
