that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
