Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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