fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this just has baby written all over it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
