People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
