so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize