dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We don't watch enough power rangers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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