It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize