do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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