I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
