He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
