I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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