Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
