I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize