you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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