I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
