ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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