i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i've created a new STD.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
