lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
