So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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