You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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