I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
