you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize