Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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