found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
