I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
