dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
