At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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