last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
