i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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