I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize