You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
