Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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