why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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