You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
