I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
