he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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