kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she told me i tasted like america
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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