Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
