i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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