My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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