Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
