This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
