you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
