Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
