The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
