I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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