Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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