he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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