So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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