wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
