I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
