R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize