I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
