STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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