four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
