turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
