And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
