Say something about gay babies.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
